A song to my mood

Lately, as you can see from my posts that I have been pretty introspective. I don't know what has put me in this mood but I am rolling with it. I have been listening to Kendall Payne's CD, Grown and I found a song that has put a song to my mood. Here are the words:

Pray

I will pray for you now for you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I couldn’t not ask for more than what you’ve already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me

May your heart break enough that compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build and place upon your head
May they all fall come crashing down around your feet

May you find every step to be harder than the last
So your character grows greater each stride
May your company be of humble insignificance
May your weakness be your only source of pride

What you do unto others may it all be done to you
May you meet the one who made us
And see him smile when life is through

May your blessings be many but not what you hoped they’d be
And when you look upon the broken
May mercy show you what you could not see

May you never be sure of any plans you desire
But you’d learn to trust the plan he has for you
May your passions be tried and tested in the holy fire
May you fight with all your life for what is true

I have prayed for you now all of my dear and faithful friends
But what I wish is more than I could ever speak
As the way wanders on I’ll long to see you once again
Until then, would you pray these prayers for me?
Oh that you would pray for me.

Not a student anymore

Yesterday, we had a excel spreedsheet seminar at work. I though it would be helpful for my team so I signed up. The seminar was 3.5 hours. It was extremely helpful and I learned a lot but it was like I was in school again. We sat the teacher was in front of us, she talked we followed and took notes. It drove me nuts! I just couldn't stand just sitting there for three hours. I really don't know how I did it when I was in University.

I guess being out of school for years and in the workforce has made me a muti-tasker. Sitting and being idle just doesn't work for me.

There is such a transition from being a student and to being in the workforce, but once you have transitioned I can't imagine going back. I have come to the realization that I am a "get the job" kinda of girl and sitting and learning wears me out.

Don't get me wrong learning is a valuable asset and that it's very important but I guess what I am saying is that I have become an active learner and I need hands on, stimulating information. Gone are the days of sitting and being lectured to. I am so much happier to be doing what I do then a student in classroom. The world is my classroom and experience is my teacher. He he hee

Thinking

Lately I have been thinking about how little things about Molson's personality I am going to miss when he passes on. I think I have been in denial or maybe its hope but I have to come to reality that Molson will die. He really does have cancer and that the Vet was not wrong in his diagnosis.

What I am going to miss about Molson, is that he has this quiet, calming effect that soothes a person when down or melancoly. He just lays by your feet and you instantly feel comfort without knowing it. When my Grandma was sick and staying at my parents, Molson stayed by her side and she even know comments on how comforting he was to her at that time. That's a lot for my Grandma to say because she doesn't like animals, but Molson now has a soft spot in my Grandma's heart.

Another thing that I love about Molson is that he doesn't want anyone to be alone. If I am visiting my parents and we all in different rooms, he spends his time going from room to room spending 10 minutes with one person and then maybe 15 if the next person needs more company. He just has an intutive sense to know when he is needed.

One thing that I take for granted is that when he would be in the way, he is not. Like in the kitchen, most dogs like to be underfoot in case food is dropped, but when we are in the kitchen Molson is always in the hallway just watching and ready to be near us when the time is right.

All these attributes of Molson, remind of God. I am not saying Molson is God but I do think animals know more about God then we can possibly understand.

God is there when you are sad and is a soothing, calming, peaceful presence.
God doesn't want you to be alone and wants to spend time with you.
God doesn't want to be in your way but he wants to be invited to your life.

Molson is a blessing from God and Molson has taught a lot about the attributes of God. Wouldn't it be cool if we could radiant the love of God like a loving dog does to his master.

Three years

Well, Friday Feb. 17 was my third year working at Crusade. I remember last year thinking that two years was a long time. Ha ha aha. I have never stayed in a job this long before.

Most people my generation tend to change jobs often, I guess I am not like the rest of my generation but I think what makes me stay here is that my job keeps changing. At first I was an Assistant Editor, then more responsiblities till now I have worked up to being an Editor of two websites. This job is really exciting and I still love it. You would think by now that I would be bored but each day I 'm still excited to go to work.

Oh for those of you who don't know the two sites I am editor of they are: Thelife.com and Retirement With A Purpose. Take a look. Both are pretty different but I love both, they are my babies.

It's kind of funny because when I graduated from Kwantlen, I didn't think I was good enough to do any of this but its funny how God prepares you and equips you for things that you can't imagine. I was told by my teachers that I was too innocent, unworldly and sensitive and would never cut it the real world. I refused to listen, I knew that God would meet me where I was and I guess I was a bit stuborn and just didn't want to change. I guess God doesn't view innocence as a bad thing. I feel blessed that God didn't make me hard or worldly.

I think having a soft heart is a good thing. Sensitivity and compassion are two traits that this world is missing. So to all you soft hearted sensitive people out there don't let them say something is wrong with you, chances are God made you that way for a reason, cherish it, protect it. It's a gift from God.

My favorite place

It's has been 7 months since Molson has been diagnosed with Cancer and he isn't sick yet. He is the same guy he was before happy, playful and loving. We wanted to take some pictures of Molson in his favorite place before he couldn't enjoy it. So, one of my dad's co-workers who is a photographer volunteered his services and we trecked out in the muddy fields so that we could take pictures of Molson in all his glory.

I have been thinking about favorite places and quiet places. I notice that in my live I go through seasons when I need to be around people and times when I just want peace and quiet. I am not in that season right now but I seem to have that. My roommate is great, she's not violent, she wouldn't even think of assaulting me with the phone when she wouldn't get her way. A major improvement from my last pyscho roommate ( do you think its alright if I said her name now? I don't know the protocal). But my new roommate likes staying in her room a lot so I have been forced to be alone in the evenings. I don't like it! I can hear all of you out there saying, well go out and do things. Yes, that would be a logical answer to my problem but I hate to go do things alone. So the cycle goes on. Does anyone have a good book to read?